Monday, May 13, 2013

Monday Night at the Movies: The Pilferer

Monday Night at the Movies: The Pilferer
Voice: Tonight, he learned a long time ago that the best way to get away with a crime is to think small...

(A music store. The Pilferer, disguised in a trench coat and sunglasses, pretends to play Mary Had a Little Lamb on an electric guitar.)

Salesman: Are you interested in that guitar?

Pilferer: I just need to check a few more things.

(The salesman rolls his eyes and goes over to another customer. The Pilferer pulls out a screwdriver and removes a screw from the guitar before carefully putting it back on display and exiting the store. The salesman returns with a new customer.)

Salesman: This may be what you're looking for, one of our finest models. (He picks up the guitar by the neck and it falls into pieces on the floor.)

(The Pilferer's home. Enter the Pilferer. He takes out the screw he got from the guitar and screws it into the plastic fixture of his light switch. Then he pulls out a handful of salt and pepper pouches and empties them into his salt and pepper shakers. A knock on the door.)

Pilferer: Who is it?

Police: Police. (The door is opened and the police are invited in. One of them holds a paper cup containing a beverage.)

Pilferer: What can I do for you?

Police: We've had some reports of pilfering in your neighbourhood. Do you mind if we have a look at your kitchen?

Pilferer: Go right ahead.

Police: (Spotting shakers) Shakers. This guy's clean. Thank you for the trouble. (They head for the door.)

Pilferer: Wait a minute! Officer, are you through with that cup?

Police: Yes, I'll dispose of it myself.

Pilferer: You can leave it with me if you like.

Police: Well, that's very nice of you. Thank you. (He hands over the cup and the Pilferer can barely contain his excitement. Exit police.)

Pilferer: (Coveting his new cup) Heh! heh! heh!

Voice: Chip Cheroot is ... the Pilferer. Tonight on Monday Night at the Movies.
  
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© 2007, 2013. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

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