Pick-Me-Up Decaffeinated Coffee

(A parlour. A woman shares a drink with her guest.) Guest: And since I lost Brad, everything is just falling apart. I've been laid off from my job. My car has been stolen. What am I going to do? I'm thinking of killing myself! (Shift to host's expression of concern.) Host: (Pouring a cup of coffee and offering it to her guest) Would you like a Pick-Me-Up? Guest: Coffee? At this hour? Host: It's decaf. Guest: I hate decaf. Host: It's Irish. Guest: Hand it over. Voice: Are your friends weighing you down with their burdens? Maybe you should introduce them to Pick-Me-Up Brand decaffeinated coffee. Instead of caffeine, Pick-Me-Up contains tricyclic re-uptake inhibitors, which help to trap the happy hormones in your head. Guest: (One hour later) And in the end I always think that there's no point to suicide because I'm going to die anyway. And that car was costing too much money. And I figure that my boss is doing me a favour by laying me off because it frees me up to look for a better job. I can't wait to get out there on the job hunt again. It's always such an adventure! Voice: Pick-Me-Up Decaffeinated Coffee: mixable with alochol.
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© 2007, 2013. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.