The Nice Nurse

(Circa 1959.) Other Nurse: Mrs Macgillicuddy is waiting for her tea. Nice Nurse: Can't you bring it to her? Other Nurse: She asked for you especially. You're her favorite nurse. Nice Nurse: She likes the way I smile through her insults. Why does it always take so long for bitter old battleaxes to die? (Sighing she picks up a tray and takes it into the old lady's room.) Macgillicuddy: There you are! How long does it take to get a cup of tea around here? Nice Nurse: I'm sorry, Mrs Macgillicuddy. I got here as fast as I could. Macgillicuddy: I don't believe you. Nice Nurse: It's true. Macgillicuddy: Lazy, senseless, good-for-nothing people like you are what's wrong with the world now. Nice Nurse: I work very hard. Macgillicuddy: You don't know what hard work is. How do you do you wash your clothes? Oh! You push a button! How do you wash your dishes? Oh! You push another button. Why don't you just stay at home and let the machines do everything for you? You don't know how spoiled you are, child. Nice Nurse: Mrs Macgillicuddy, I am thirty-eight years old. Macgillicuddy: That's just a child to me. And when are you going to grow up and admit that you hate me? Nice Nurse: I don't hate you! Macgillicuddy: You most certainly do. Nice Nurse: Listen, you cantankerous old crow! (Putting her hands around the old woman's throat) I said I don't hate you! (Shaking the old woman violently) Are you calling me a liar? If I said I don't hate you, the polite thing for you to do...
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© 2007, 2013. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.