Damn the Doritos

(New Mexico, July 16 1945. A group of scientists speculate on the potential result of the first atomic blast.) Oppenheimer: Doctor Zeus, would you be so kind as to share your thoughts with us as to what we may expect here this morning? Zeus: (Greek accent) I think that it will initiate a subatomic chain reaction which will rip a hole in the fabric of the space-time continuum and send us all back to the Stone Age - literally. Oppenheimer: Interesting. Doctor Finklestein, have you any such concerns? Finklestein: (Yiddish accent) No. I think that it will only splinter our DNA, altering the course of human evolution so that our descendants will be born with gills instead of lungs. Oppenheimer: Yes? Doctor Hoffman, you have your hand up? Hoffman: (German accent) I think that it will set fire to the atmosphere, leaving us with no air to breathe and stripped naked against falling asteroids and the horrible radiation of the sun. Oppenheimer: Noted. We'll have a fire truck standing by. Gentlemen, there's only one way we're going to know what happens when we detonate this device... (The next day.) General: Boys, I hear that you only used a couple pounds of uranium for this bomb. Now that you know it works, let's put a whole ton of uranium all in one big bomb. Oppenheimer: General, that much uranium would blow us up along with the enemy. General: I figured. Let's just hope we never have to use it.
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© 2007, 2013. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.