Money Tips: How to Beat Inflation

(A fiftyish man stands smiling in front of an old family portrait.) Today on Money Tips we're going to talk about inflation. Inflation is what happens when everyone quits their job and goes on unemployment insurance. It's also been known to happen during worker's strikes. As long as workers are going to have this attitude, we'll always have inflation, so you might as well start planning for it. My granddaddy, God rest his soul, taught me about inflation way back in 1970. He said the only way to protect yourself is to stash money and he gave me eighty dollars to get started. Back then that was enough to buy a brand new ten-speed. By now with inflation it's probably worth maybe five ten-speeds. I tucked it behind my family portrait and held on to it through OPEC, mass layoffs, downsizing, and stock market crashes with government bailouts. And if I ever need that money (taking the portrait and pulling out the back) I have it right here. (The money is missing) Hey!
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© 2007, 2013. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.