Newsbeat

Good morning out there! I'm Sunny Chirper and welcome to Newsbeat, the most upbeat news report on TV. Wasn't that a spectacular meteor shower last night? I hope you had a good view of it. And isn't this early warm weather a blessing? We live in a beautiful world and we should be happy about it. But if celestial light shows and extra sunshine aren't enough to cheer you up, I have invited a couple of scientists onto the show today to discuss their exciting new breakthroughs, which I'm sure will improve our already high standard of living. The first is an astronomer, Doctor Raymond Galliano. And Doctor Galliano, you seem to be in a smiling mood this morning. I sure am, Sunny. Please share the good news with us. Does it have to do with that meteor shower we saw last night? Yes. I have been trying for years to convince my colleagues that craters are caused by asteroids and meteors and not by geysers. My theory was confirmed last night when a large meteor landed in the desert and made a crater. Well, congratulations, Doctor! You see, people? When the whole crowd is against you and you're right, just stick it out like Doctor Galliano, here, and eventually you will prevail. That's right. And now we know that our atmosphere can not protect us. Eventually a large asteroid will smash into us and destroy all life on this planet. Isn't it exciting? What? All life? Is there no way we can prepare for this eventuality? There are too many asteroids and they are too hard to see. I say let's enjoy the Earth while we still can. Doctor, how can we present this information in a positive light to our viewers? Think of it as a kind of intellectual awakening. You don't believe in Santa any more, do you? No, I suppose not. Well, Doctor, thank you for your insights. You're welcome. Hear that, everyone? Now that we know that we are at the complete mercy of nature for our continued survival, we can live our lives more realistically. Maybe you don't need that promotion so badly... And we still have our good weather. Doctor Paul Scott, a chemist with the CIA, is here to explain it to us in more detail. Doctor, can we expect this warming trend to continue in the decades to come? Yes. The temperature of our Earth will continue to rise with the growing carbon emissions in our atmosphere. So that's good, right? I think it's great. The rise in tide from melted ice will flood vast areas and obliterate our coastlines. What's so great about that? Well, for years we've been trying to think of a way to wipe out the hippies in California. But now it looks like Mother Nature is going to do it for us.
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© 2007, 2013. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.