(Opening background score: Slip Sliding Away - Paul Simon.)
Is the summer heat causing your bodily fluids to boil over? Research proves that most body heat escapes through the head, with as much slipping out through the eye sockets as passing out through the ears. That's why we developed Cool Shades. Besides offering the very best protection from ultraviolet rays, Cool Shades are fitted with polarized lenses to lower the temperature of your face and reduce sweating. You won't just look cool with Cool Shades, you'll be cool. You can't chase girls when you're slipping in a pool of your own slime, so put on some Cool Shades and let them come to you! Available at these fine stores:
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