Drink Rotgut

(A saloon.) Customer: Bartender, give me a drink. (The bartender fills a glass for him and he drinks it like water.) You call that sody pop a drink? Man, I said I wanted a drink! When you swaller a drink, you should feel it burnin all the way down your throat, into your gizzard, and still causing a ruckus on the way back out! Gimme my money back! Bartender: Now hold on! Maybe you just need a shot of this. (He pours the man a drink of Rotgut Whiskey.) Announcer: Are liquor laws depriving you of your money's worth? The lawyers of Rotgut Whiskey have found a loophole that lets us distill our ingredients with battery acid to give it that extra punch. (The customer takes a sip and is overcome by violent seizures.) Bartender: How's that for a drink? (The customer is unable to answer by anything but a raised thumb.) Announcer: Rotgut Whiskey: it'll put the blood in your bladder.
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© 2007, 2013. Scripts by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.